Lessons in Trifle
by Watermelancholy
Summary: Zero and Ichiru-centric drabbles with a wide range of themes. *Drabbles MAY contain light yaoi/twincest. Contains Yuki-bashing.*
1. Home Economics

I started this a few months back and drawled out the rest for my little sister today. This can certainly be considered an alternate-universe series, given the relationship I've set up between the two (and the fact that Ichiru is ALIVE.) Ichiru shall live on in our minds for all of time, CC!

--

"Welcome class! My name is Ms. Sarunaki, and I will be your instructor for Home Economics!" From the back of the class, a weary frown emanated throughout the entirety of the room.

"Kill me."

"You're the idiot that signed us up for this class, Zero," Ichiru said pointedly, eyes closed lightly as he tied the back of his apron.

"Shut up..."

"You need glasses or something." The younger twin gave a deep frown rivaling Zero's own, turning sharply to the boy slouching to his right. "You hand-picked this class on the sign-up sheet."

"I thought it said Early Japanese Culture."

"Home Economics?"

"...Shut up." The clanging at the front of the class was what brought all the students' attention back, and Zero and Ichiru watched with little interest as the aged woman started pulling a book out.

"Class, please pull out your handbooks and turn to page twenty-three; today we're going to learn the basics of baking a cake!"

As the class united in a simultaneous groan, Zero folded his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. Ichiru frowned. "Come on Zero, set up the mixer. I'll start mixing the ingredients."

Cracking an eye open, Zero snorted, "Che. Get real, Ichiru, I'm _not_ baking."

"Then you'll fail."

"So? I've failed before."

"That's why you're a year behind," the younger twin tutted. Zero blinked as he found is arms being filled with parts from a beater, and scowling, he turned and regarded Ichiru's indifferent face. "Build."

It didn't take long for the pair to realize they were in trouble. Whether it was Zero's completed mixer that miraculously hadn't needed all the parts, Ichiru's lumpy batter that was fearfully reminiscent to dirt, or the explosion of sticky powder that occurred the minute they turned on the machine, they were royally screwed. "I sai-- Zero, weren't you listening?!" Ichiru's voice cried out in angry frustration. "You need to set the oven on 400 degrees, not 350!"

Zero turned from the over and shouted, "The book said that's only for a 12-inch pan! This one's smaller, it needs a lower setting!"

"No, no, that setting's for _cupcakes_!"

"It works for the cake, too! Look in the book!"

"I don't have to; I think _you_ need to look in the book!"

The rest of the class watched in mild terror as a worn cook book went soaring through the air, squarely hitting Zero in the back of the head while knocking the tray in his hands to the floor. Outraged, Zero barely managed to maintain his composed scowl as he turned while holding his head.

"Bastard!"

"ENOUGH!" The boys blinked in shock as they suddenly found themselves being dragged into the hallway. They managed to catch themselves as they were tossed onto their own feet again. Fuming, Ms. Sarunaki pointed sharply down the hall before shouting and stalking back towards the classroom, "Both of you, to the detention center! You can leave an hour after classes end today!" The walls shook as the Home Ec room's door slammed shut, leaving the twins to blink for a moment before turning to face each other. Their lips opened simultaneously.

"This is all your fault."

The sun had started setting when the two bored Kiryus finally started hearing students filing out for the day. They sighed a heavy sigh; only one more hour to go. Zero leaned back where he was sitting on the desk's surface, his eyes skimming the empty classroom with dull boredom while Ichiru struggled to keep awake, silver-haired head resting sleepily in his arms as he slouched over the desk.

He couldn't even begin to remember how many times he'd counted the three-hundred-and-fifty-two tiles that made up the front row's floor now, and slowly, Ichiru found his eyes traveling until they rested on Zero's tense face again. He blushed, immediately repositioning his gaze elsewhere; it would be a lie to say he didn't want to make up with his other half. He hated fighting like this, it just made all aspects of his life a living wreck, and he wished so desperately that he could read Zero's thoughts to see if he was feeling the same way. Did his cold, older brother even think about this stuff? Probably not. He could remember a time when he and Zero would _never_ fight, but that time was nothing more than a fairytale. Ichiru wasn't a child, he'd stopped believing in fairytales long ago.

"...!" The shock of contact made Ichiru flinch, curious eyes rising to Zero's face as the older twin's fingertips brushed against his cheek. Zero pulled the fingers into his mouth casually, half-lidded gaze focusing on his hand before falling onto Ichiru. He shrugged lightly at the questioning gaze.

"You had some batter on your face."

"..." Ichiru brought his own hand up to rest on the spot, his touch ice-cold against the burning feel of his flushed skin. He struggled to find his voice. "Oh... thanks..." Zero shrugged again carelessly, turning and leaning back until he was lying out completely on the table, his lids flickering shut as he heaved a tired sigh. Ichiru smiled despite himself, settling in once more as his own heavy lids began to fall; contentment he'd never felt began to creep throughout his body.

An hour's time would come much too soon.


	2. Poor Taste

This piece is a bit hard to follow; my apologies. This was separated from my 10-ficlets series on account of it's length. Contains Yuki-bashing.

--

"It's just so... so..."

"Ugly."

"_Big_ and ugly... and stupid, don't forget stupid."

"Naturally."

"Yes." Zero cocked his head to the side, squinting his silver eyes as he continued to stare in the direction Ichiru was nodding. His indecisive look grew ponderous, eyes shutting further. The gentler twin turned slightly. "Hm?"

"I don't like the shade of brown it is." Ichiru scratched his head.

"You like lighter brown more?"

"I like black..."

"Really? I would've seen you as more of a lighter-color kind of person."

"What, just like you?"

"_What_?"

"...Your _tastes_."

"Oh... Yeah, I suppose that's true, that shade of silverish-purple was nice. It wasn't my only reason, though."

"It had to have been, there wasn't anything else about her that could _be_ a reason."

"..." Ichiru frowned lightly. "It's an abomination."

"I don't _like_ it."

"_Sure_ you don't..."

"Your taste is deplorable."  
"Likewise."

Clenching her fist until her knuckles turned white, Yuki slammed her report down onto her desk and whirled around, scowling.

"Neither of you are funny!" she cried out, storming off in a huff while leaving behind the two Kiryu brothers in silence.

"...It walks weird."

"Very true."


End file.
